


Do You Know Who You Are?

by loubuttons



Series: Stark Raving Mad [15]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Amnesia, Gen, Mentioned Ben Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:55:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21673312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loubuttons/pseuds/loubuttons
Summary: “I’m sorry.”“For what?”“For forgetting. I’m sure I didn’t want to forget you.”
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Stark Raving Mad [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1215270
Comments: 13
Kudos: 295





	Do You Know Who You Are?

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from Lights Up by Harry Styles. 
> 
> This is based on this prompt: "Excuse me?"

“Excuse me?” 

Tony turns, too focused on his glasses to recognize the voice. When they make eye contact, Peter flushes. 

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t realize—“

“Don’t worry about it.” 

He looks lost, wandering the medbay in pajamas. Tony doesn’t let himself smile fondly at the sight. He doesn’t let himself react at all. 

“Did you need something, Bud?” 

“No, I, uh...I didn’t recognize you, I mean.” 

Nodding, he tells himself that it doesn’t sting. But Peter’s always been perceptive; he apologizes before Tony can respond. 

“Ah, don’t sweat it. It happens.” He doesn’t want Peter to feel guilty. He didn’t ask to lose his memories. “You sure you don’t need anything? It’s my compound—if you need something I can get it.” 

He can tell when Peter’s lying, but Peter doesn’t know that. Thankfully, he doesn’t force him to push the matter. 

“I know I just had lunch but could I...?” 

“You’re hungry.” Tony could kick himself for forgetting, “Of course you are, Kid. That’s my fault—I forgot to notify the nurses.” 

He laughs nervously, obviously bewildered, “Notify them of what?” 

“You’ve got an advanced metabolism.” 

“Oh.” He frowns, confused. What Tony wouldn’t give to just explain it all. But the doctors said to wait, and he has to do what’s best for Peter. 

With everything left unsaid between them, he can’t keep himself from saying, “Come on, let’s get you something to eat. I’ll take you out to lunch. My treat.” 

“Oh that’s okay, Mr. Stark, you really don’t have to—“

“Peter,” He smiles sadly, “Humor me.” 

  
  


The doctors say Peter can leave as long and he’s in the care of a responsible adult. Tony isn’t sure he qualifies, but he’ll take it. He collects an outfit from Peter’s room and struggles not to linger. The kid he gave this room to isn’t really here, not anymore. And while he knows it’s probably not permanent, he can’t help but feel the sting of loss. When he gives Peter the clothes, he doesn’t ask where he got them. That makes it easier. 

They go to a diner. He doesn’t want to overwhelm him with something unfamiliar. Peter stays mainly silent. As he looks over the menu, Tony fiddles with his glasses but doesn’t get any work done. 

Peter orders a reasonable amount of food, which is why Tony orders two extra meals for himself. He won’t eat any of it, but it’s easier to pretend it’s not for Peter. 

“And can you leave the tomatoes off the sandwich? Thanks.” 

Peter perks up, “You don’t like tomatoes either?” 

“Nah, they’re alright. You’re not a fan though, right?” He knows Peter doesn’t like them. He doesn’t need to ask. He does anyway. 

“Uh, yeah,” He frowns, “I didn’t grow up eating them. My mom was allergic, so.” He shrugs. When Tony nods, Peter smiles. He looks remorseful, “But you knew that already.” 

He doesn’t see any use in lying, “Yeah, I did.” 

Nodding, Peter goes quiet again. After an uncomfortable stretch of silence, he asks, “Ben’s dead, isn’t he?” 

Tony freezes. He tries to gauge Peter’s expression. Although he looks afraid of Tony’s answer, he also seems resigned. Pursing his lips, he looks away. He doesn’t want to be the one to tell him this. 

“He is. I’m sorry.” 

He nods again, turning his head to the window. Tony glances away; he’s seen Peter cry before, but it never gets easier. 

“I figured. That’s the only reason he wouldn’t...well, he never came to see me.” It sounds like he’s already accepted it, which Tony can’t fathom. “What happened?” 

“I don’t know. We met after.” When Peter doesn’t respond, he asks, “You...do you want to go back?” 

“No. It’s easier when it’s—I don’t want people to ask me questions.” 

“Okay.” 

“How long ago?” 

“About three years.” 

Quietly, he sobs. Tony starts when he asks, “So is that it? That’s the big secret that no one wants to tell me? The doctor said the memory loss is caused by a dissociative fugue related to trauma.” His voice is thick, but he sounds determined, “Will I get my memories back now?” 

Tony doesn’t know how to explain that Ben dying isn’t the only thing that his mind wanted distance from. The doctors warned against trying to remind him, but the temptation is strong. 

“I think there’s more to it than that.” 

“How do we know each other?” 

Tensing, Tony tries to find a way to avoid the question. He’s Peter’s godfather; Peter’s his heir. They’ve fought battles together. On multiple occasions, they’ve saved each other’s lives. They’re lab partners and late-night philosophers. They’re family. 

But the kid just lost his uncle—Tony can’t overwhelm him again. He settles for a half-truth, “We work together.” 

Thickly, Peter laughs, “How’d that ever happen?” 

“My idea. You’ve got talent. I wanted you on my side.” Now he wants him by his side. And despite their proximity, they’re further apart than they’ve ever been. 

As if he heard what Tony kept to himself, he says, “I’m sorry.” 

“For what?” 

“For forgetting. I’m sure I didn’t want to forget you.” 

Sighing, Tony puts his glasses on the table, “Pete, that’s not your fault. You got hurt, your brain couldn’t handle it; it decided to take a break. None of that is your fault.” 

“Still, I—“ He winces, “I  _ want _ to remember you. Like, remember you for real.” 

More than anything, Tony wants that too. He wants him to know just how deeply this runs. He doesn’t say it. He can’t. 

“That’s okay, Kid. We can start over until you do.” Sticking his hand out, he says, “Tony Stark.” 

Peter gives him a watery smile and takes his hand, “Peter Parker.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think with comments and/or kudos. 
> 
> If you want to read my prompts when they're written, head to my tumblr (@loubuttons).


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